The Aftermath of the Ace of Greeks Food Truck Invasion

Hey guys, Mike here.

Sorry I've been out of the loop all day. Jarys had be locked in my office, while they tried to convince me that partnering with a food truck was doing what was "best for business." Thankfully, Raven managed to discover Shucky, the golem I secretly bought years ago on the black market in case Jarys ever needed to be stopped. He's one of many last-ditch emergency measures that I have in place in case any of my staff goes Rogue. Did you know, for example, that Mae Linh can be defeated by a picture of a small cat, asleep on a bookshelf?

In addition, Kyle can be defeated with the application of a single sentence of logic. It's just too much for him!

Now that the Ace of Geeks is firmly back within my control, I'll be rolling back the changes on the site(s). Man, it sure is silly that we have two sites that you have to go back and forth between. If only there was a way to combine them into a simple, easy to use interface where all of the Ace of Geeks content could live. That would be such a dream.

Hey, unrelated note: Our 150th episode of the Ace of Geeks Podcast is coming soon.

Anyway, thanks to everybody who supported us in our delicious, delicious war. I'm off to eat some Potluck, but first I leave you with this thought:

Who did put the Bop in the Bop-Shu-Bop-Shu-Bop? They never answer that in the song.

UPDATE: As you may have guessed, this was part of our April Fool's silliness yesterday. Go check out the rest of the story here:

Part One!
Part Two!
Part Three!
Part Four!
Part Five!
Part Six!
Part Seven!
Part Eight! (You Are Here)

Dying Words from the Toppling Feta Tower

All Citizen-Writers and Citizen-Readers are to heed this last dictum from the Editor-In-Chief.

Hours ago I, your Editor in Chief Jarys, marched in here as the Victor in a war with grim invaders. Though I shared their heritage, that of the enlightened minds of Athens and mighty warriors of Sparta, I was so loyal as to be able to walk among them without ever changing loyalties. Like the Roman Caesar, my heart was with my home, The Ace of Greeks. But, also like Caesar, I answered a call.. A call given to me by the populist lovers of Greek food, a call unheeded by the elitist Potluckers.

I answered the call to Unify this website, to unify us under one success, one vision, one lunch food provider, one Dictum. As I had defeated the Ace of Greeks, I, like the undefeatable Heracles, took the pelt of my lion and wore it, taking the Ace of Greeks name and their food truck. This painted me even more the unpopular usurper to the Elitist Potluckers. Their jealousy and thirst for chaos grew like a sickness. And that sickness has felled this great podcast and blog.

The Geeks Are Going To War! (or: The Last March of the Geeks)

I'm writing this in a maintenance closet... I hope it gets out... I hope I'm not too late...

Jarys came back from his mission and immediately called a meeting in the middle of the Editor's room. We all gathered there, and they made a very rousing speech about how we needed to band together and strike the keys hard and fast to spread the word - The Ace of Geeks is now under new management! He changed the name of the blog to "The Ace of Greeks," with Mike's full support! I couldn't believe it! What the hell was going on?

Jarys waved a bunch of papers and said that they are now in charge, and we need to buckle down if we expect to get paid. More news about the latest gadgets and gizmos, more dice rolling, more topics in discussion on the audio podcasts. Tighter deadlines and everything has to pass his desk before being published or posted on the podcast. Then they said it - "BETTER CONTENT, GODDAMMIT - THERE WILL BE TOPIC ASSIGNMENTS DAILY!"

Words from the Home Front

It smells like dolmas here.

It all happened so suddenly, with such overwhelming activity, that I scarcely recall a day without the thumb of our lamb-trimming overlords held firmly upon our throats.  Our office was occupied in the scant time it took a strange cease-and-desist letter to turn into complete conquest of our humble blog and podcast.

Hmm? What's that?

MalKontent says it's only been a few hours.  I don't believe him.  I don't for a second.  The droop in his tails tells me more about our captivity than any words ever can.

I've been fighting to keep my spirits up.  I've been made to do all sorts of heinous acts since the violent change in leadership.  Check out this awesome baklava shaped like Serenity.  Square Enix announces they'll be adding fully-articulated yogurt to Final Fantasy XV, because it was easier to animate than women in real clothes.  28 Scenes in Star Wars that would have been improved with moussaka.  John Barrowman eating a gyro will blow your mind, and you won't believe what he does next.

I'm starting to become numb with terrible clickbait headlines, and the memory of what it was like to write upstanding pieces about geek culture seems ever farther, farther away.

It always smells like dolmas here.

I haven't seen Jarys in forever.  They seemed like the only chance we had of shaking off this yoke, of turning the tables on our clever corporate food truck oppressors.  I ducked into a hasty, clandestine meeting late after writing another "My Little Pony set to include Twilight Souvlaki in upcoming season" article and saw them in a poignant, fraternal sort of embrace with a certain gravity that made the loukaniko I'd been force-fed for lunch drop into the pit of my stomach.

I haven't seen Jarys since then.  I don't know what to think.

The rest of us move in a daze between assignments, never knowing what terrible headline or edict or lunch menu will be handed down next.  I don't know where my next meal is coming from...but I always seem to know its country of origin.  The office seems a stark shade of black and white, as though all the glorious colors of the Power Rangers figures on Mike's desk have faded from my vision.

I think I heard Mark and Thomas say they planned to sneak out and return with food.  Food without tzatziki or tahini.  I wish them fortune.

I'm far too scared to try it myself.

It always smells like dolmas here.

UPDATE: As you may have guessed, this was part of our April Fool's silliness yesterday. Go check out the rest of the story here:

Part One!
Part Two!
Part Three!
Part Four!
Part Five! (You Are Here)
Part Six!
Part Seven!
Part Eight!

Update: Agent in the Field

There's been a bit of buzz in the Ace of Geeks break room about one of the editors going undercover inside the food truck. From what I've gathered, the mission is to take over the food truck and put an end to what some have been calling "the Souvlaki Invasion."

There have been reports coming in of disturbances across town. According to our correspondents and eyewitnesses at that scene, they say a war has erupted with Greek mayo-based sauces and dessert foods flying everywhere. People have been taking shelter in city parking garages and local Starbucks coffee shops.

Back here at the Ace of Geeks break room, I've noticed that the crowd around the potluck table has grown a bit. The line at the slow-cooker of chili is getting longer, and more food has appeared on the table - cookies, cakes, and pies along with liter bottles and six-packs of soda, as well as Chinese and Cajun dishes.

There appears to have been a chain of command established, as well - those in charge of the hot dishes are serving, and a whiteboard has appeared on the wall, with a map of the city tacked up to it. I recognized one of the staffers from the line at the food truck, and asked what made him come to the potluck instead. He said that he was sick of Baklava and wanted Lo Mein - "The soy sauce is strong with this one," he told me.

One blogger is at the whiteboard, outlining the plan to take down the food truck. It seems to involve converting it into a taco truck. A lot of people have expressed interest in this plan, with some bloggers offering their skills in mechanics and body work.Their main focus right now seems to be waiting for word from the operative in the field, and planning their attack strategy.

An announcement just came over the PA that the rebellion's mole has done his damage and is returning to base - we'll have more on that as it becomes available.

UPDATE: As you may have guessed, this was part of our April Fool's silliness yesterday. Go check out the rest of the story here:

Part One!
Part Two!
Part Three!
Part Four! (You Are Here)
Part Five!
Part Six!
Part Seven!
Part Eight!

Breaking news: Ace of Geeks under Food Truck Thrall?

An influx of amazingly delicious Greek food has been hitting desks throughout the offices of The Ace of Geeks. A new food truck has shown up outside, and has been delivering free food since this morning, when we broke back into our offices. Some have started to wonder about that, as everyone knows - there's no such thing as a free lunch. Our correspondent down on the street has been interviewing people all day, and some of the things they have been saying are very positive - most have recommended the gyros, although there are many more menu items that are available as well.

I'm a bit concerned about this, though. There seems to be an overabundance of staffing in this little food truck, and many of the Ace of Geeks blog staff have stopped complaining about eating at the crappyteria cafeteria. I am also suspicious of the copious amounts of manouri and kasseri cheeses, and gallons of tzatziki. There is also a faction of bloggers who are resisting the call of the gyro. They have been gathering around a table in the break room in a rebellious display of potluck. Included in their dishes are chili, beef stew, corned beef and cabbage, sushi, and fresh sashimi.

It would seem that the free deliveries and menu prices at the food truck are a little too good to be true, as many have opted to order lunch instead of bring it from home like they would usually do. I've been roaming the halls here all day, and I've already seen some animosity flare up between the potluckers and the food truck patrons - challenges like home-made peach cobbler versus bougatsa from the food truck.

Peach Cobbler 

VS

Bougatsa

We'll stay on top of this developing situation, and keep you informed of any changes.

UPDATE: As you may have guessed, this was part of our April Fool's silliness yesterday. Go check out the rest of the story here:

Part One!
Part Two! (You are Here)
Part Three!
Part Four!
Part Five!
Part Six!
Part Seven!
Part Eight!